Telford targeted, but it can’t be that bad, can it?
Andy Smith takes a look a worrying piece of news about Telford, but tries to put a brave face on it.
In a story by Harry Warner on Joe.co.uk headlined “All 23 UK towns and cities on Russian ‘target list’ revealed by ex-Russian Deputy PM“, Telford gets a mention, and I’m excited, proud and disappointed all at once.
First a bit of background. An ex-Russian Deputy PM has posted a map of over 20 UK sites to target and destroy.
Dmitry Rogozin, formerly Deputy Prime Minister and space agency chief, has warned that numerous British defence-linked sites will be targeted.
Telford is on the list, thanks to RBSL, the armoured fighting vehicle manufacturer based on Hortonwood. At least I think that’s the target. Maybe Dmitry took a dislike to Trench Lock Interchange during a recce, and I, for one, will not be condemning him for this.
Telford is an underdog. We punch above our weight in most things for towns of our size, but rarely get the recognition we deserve – at least outside of the missile targeting department at the Kremlin.
Bishops Castle, cutest market town. Shrewsbury, indie shopping paradise. Church Stretton, prettier than Switzerland. We’re always overlooked, but when Putin gets his maps out – “Telford, future hole in the ground to avoid for 80 years” will be printed on the postcards.
Excited, because it’s looking like I could get some interesting stories out on TikTok when the siren goes. TikTok is full of amateur QVC wannabes and people trying to stretch a video out to over a minute to make a few pennies. My four-minute TikTok live from ground zero could get me a Pulitzer, albeit posthumously.
Proud, because Telford rarely makes it into the top ten for much. At least we’re getting a bit of the spotlight along with other military facilities. Another thing Shrewsbury will moan about, in the fallout zone, but no direct hit. The worst of both worlds. The Darwin Centre and Pride Hill shopping centres will still be standing, but desolate, shops boarded-up and no-one around. Pretty much business as usual then.
Finally, I’m disappointed. Come on, as if Putin is going to be telling everyone where his missiles are headed. They are just going to fly overhead as they journey to their real intended destination.
The story is nonsense of course, but if I lived in Broseley, I’d be digging out my old Protect and Survive pamphlet, just in case, while I get my magnifying glass out to work out how to measure four minutes on a sundial. I just hope they don’t come at night.
